that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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