Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
