I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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