Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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