I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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