this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I die, sorry about rent.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
