I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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