the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
