Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Text me some of your sweat
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
