He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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