Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
