this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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