HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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