I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I currently don't understand fingers.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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