On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
