She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
