Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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