Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
