I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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