I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
