Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
