do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
