Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
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this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
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Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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