I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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