Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
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Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
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So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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