i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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