i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
