Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize