I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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