i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
