come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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