people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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