ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize