i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
