Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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