I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
