Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize