i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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