So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
