This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
