I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize