Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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