I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
