did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
