It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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