ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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