I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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