I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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