we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
