I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
