i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize