some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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