Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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