were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
