I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
