It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
