so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
