who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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