This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
