i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
