I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
