so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
