the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
