can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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