I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
