How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
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the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
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2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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