I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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